Chapter 3

 

At 8:20 the next morning, I woke up to Jay patting me on the arm. He was a nice guy. I had known him for years. He was taller than me with dark wavy hair and big blue eyes. He was like a big brother to me, but he was always moving around do it would be impossible to go live with him. He had helped me out a lot these past few days. He was the one I would actually have a conversation with. But now I was moving back to Jersey and this time he wasn't coming with me. He was headed to California. A nation away. What was I going to do?

“ Hey hon.” he said smiling. “How did you sleep last night?”

“Just about the same as any other night.” I had been having nightmares since the accident. “As least I stayed in my own bed last night.” I had acquired the habit of going to his room when I had these nightmares. Jay made me feel safe. And I was losing that today. I was moving tomorrow. Richie was taking me back to New Jersey. I was nervous. I didn't know Richie all that well. But Mom and Dad did so that must mean they trust him, right? I mean, why else would they make him my legal guardian?

We had breakfast and then went over to my house to pack my stuff. I had cried out all my tears, I thought. But as soon as Jay, Richie and I walked in, a new wave of tears came over me. The men flanked me, a hand on each shoulder, supporting me. I was thankful for their support. We walked in to the kitchen to pack up the dishes, then we moved to the rest of the house. All the time I had tears running down my face as I remembered my family; Mom making breakfast and calling up to Alli and I to get down there or we were going to be late. Dad coming home from work and eating dinner in his favorite chair. Alli and I laughing at the latest SNL skits. Never again. All I had were memories.

Richie and Jay were a huge help. They helped me with everything. Because we had just moved in, there wasn't much left to pack. We got it done in a day. When we were finished, we all sat down on the front steps. Richie had rented a U-HAUL van and it was packed and at the curb. I looked up at the house and whispered goodbye. I had been in huge denial about the accident and had been looking around corners, waiting for them to come home. But as I looked up at my now empty house, it all came crashing down. I fell to my knees sobbing. I felt someone lift me on to their lap and looked up to see sorrowful brown eyes looking back at me. Richie. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed my heart out. He wrapped his arms around me and just let me cry. He held me until I cried myself to sleep. I felt him pick me up and lay me down in the backseat of Jay's Chevy. I woke up a couple hours later in my own bed, screaming. Richie, who had been sitting asleep in the chair in the corner, jumped up and raced to my side. I felt strangely comforted by him. I mean, we hadn't really talked all that much. The only person I talked to was Jay, but Richie, he had this way about him. He could simply wrap his arms around you and all that was wrong was right again.

After I calmed down, I was too anxious to go back to sleep.

“Will you stay with me?” I asked him. He lay down next to me and whispered

“Always” I decided now was as good of time as ever to get to know him a bit.

“So, uh, Richie? What band do you play in?”

“Bon Jovi” he replied with a small grin. “Boy, were the guys ever surprised to hear I had a goddaughter! I can't wait for you to meet them. They'll love you! But we'll wait a bit for that , what do you say?” I nodded. Many people didn't know that I have trust issues with men. The men I do trust, Dad, Mr Wilson, and Jay, however, do know that I was raped a few years ago. Richie didn't. May have to tell him that. Come to think about it, he came to visit us around that time. Hmm. It's funny how you grow to trust someone so quick.

For hours we talked about utterly random stuff. I learned that his favorite color is orange, and he is an expert on the Beatles. He loves hats, has a daughter, and can play guitar. He learned that my favorite color is blue, I don't look good in hats, I like country music and I've always wanted to play guitar.

“Hey Richie? I have to talk to you about something. If I'm going to live with you, you should know this.” he looked at me seriously.

“Um, 3 years ago, while we were still in Jersey, I went to the mall with some friends. They all left before me and I was waiting outside for my mom, only I never made it. Some guy came up, grabbed me, taped my mouth and raped me in an alley.” I felt tears fall as I remembered the pain, humiliation and not generally knowing what was happening. “ Dad found the guy and lets just say he won't be doing that again.” All the while I was telling this I couldn't look Richie in the eye. The humiliation was starting to settle in again.

“Hey now” Richie said, pulling me in to his embrace. “I know what happened. Your father called me . Thats when I came to visit, remember? I couldn't stand to see you cowering like that. You wouldn't even let your father near you.” He tipped my chin up so I had to look him in the eyes. “That really hurt me, to see you like that. At one time your dad and I were like brothers, and as an 'uncle' I felt, like your father did, that I failed to protect you. I may not have known you at all but I did hear a lot about you, and that being said I felt bad for not knowing you. That's why I came to visit.” I looked up at him and all I could say was “Thank you”

“For what?” he asked

“Just being here. You remind me so much of Dad.” I noticed myself twisting their wedding rings around...it had become a habit. “How did you and Dad meet anyway?”

“We grew up together, next door neighbors. When I got with Bon Jovi, we toured 255 days a year. That didn't leave me with much time for anything. We grew apart. Later, once things had calmed down a bit, I found him. We talked at least twice a week, and it was always about about you and Alli. I got sent pictures and everything. It was like I was there with you. I also, once I got paid enough, set up a trust fund for both your college tuitions. Your parents worked hand to mouth, so to speak... It was the least I could do.”

“You did all that for someone you didn't even know?”

“I knew your father, and through him, I knew you.” he smiled. “You do realize that I don't care what has happened in the past? From what I see here, you're a pretty good girl who has her head on straight. You're pretty too,” I blushed at that “and I know your going through a rough patch” I looked away. “I hope that I can help get you through these rough times.” He tipped my chin up. “I want to help you, Sydney. I have a degree in psychology. Crazy, I know, but I do. But I'm here for you, not for that reason, but because I care. Your father was like my brother and I lost that” I could see his eyes fill with tears when he ducked his head. I felt that we both had wounds to heal. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head on his chest. He buried his face in my hair. I could feel his body shaking as he cried. I could feel tears running down my face as well. I honestly don't know how long we stayed like that. We were sitting on my bed. As soon as we had cried out all our tears, we lay back on my bed. I lay my head on Richie's shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me. I cringed at the thought about me laying on his arm. I would crush him! I wasn't that heavy but I was heavy enough.

“Richie, I'll crush your arm” I said. He looked down at me through his lashes and said in a stern voice “Sydney! I don't ever want to hear you say that again. Your beautiful the way you are, and you won't crush my arm. If I ever hear you mention that again...” He left it at that. I looked up at him with a shocked expression. “I mean it, Sydney. You're perfect the way you are.” I felt the tears start up again. He pulled me to his chest and started to sing softly.