Chapter 8

Richie looked confused so I motioned to his hand, he grinned, and said "I don't."

"Ouch, no faith at all, I'm hurt."

He chuckled, and then said "Enough of this, lets get going." I immediately sobered, sighed, and nodded. I didn't want to go. We headed up to the door and I sighed almost inaudibly.

"You can do it hun, and I'll be here with you every step of the way." I smiled a bit, it felt good to have someone to lean on again. It made me feel a little bit more comfortable. I grabbed his hand and slipped mine into it. He grinned down at me and asked, "ready?" I nodded, not trusting my voice. He smiled and whispered "Lets do this."

Jay was sitting at his kitchen table, hunched over something.

"Hey Jay!" I grinned as he jumped, looking sheepish. "Whatcha got there?"

He recovered from his shock and replied "Nothing for you!" Richie chuckled at this and I turned to give him a mock glare and said "Traitor."

He just grinned. Jay finished up what he was doing and sealed it in an envelope. I attempted to raise an eyebrow, but, it didn't quite work the way I wanted it to. Jay smiled, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. I never liked when that happened, bad things came after that. I asked the question that everyone was wondering, "When are you leaving, Jay?" I dreaded the answer.

"Tonight, at 5:00," all mischief was gone after he said that. I looked down at the watch Mom and Dad had given me for Christmas last year, and sighed. It was 3:00 now.

"You know I will try and visit when I can, right? And we can email all the time, and Skype. It's not forever, Syd." I nodded, but teared up anyway. I didn't think it would be this hard. I knew deep down that it wasn't forever, but it felt like a huge part of me was leaving. I gave him a watery smile, more to say that I was okay, but it didn't come out as planned. He sighed, and got up, turned on the stereo. Johnny Reid came crooning from out of the speakers, and the waterworks let loose. It was my favourite song, Dancing with My Baby.

"What? No Bon Jovi?" Richie inquired, grinning. Jay and I ignored him. Jay stood up, held out his hand, and asked if I wanted to dance. I nodded, still crying. He wrapped me in his arms and we swayed gently to the music. Dancing had been our thing for a while. Whenever I was upset or couldn't sleep, Jay and I would dance. Not crazy hip hop dancing, but just gathering strength from each other. Johnny Reid is a favourite of mine, his music had meaning. By the time the song was finished, I was full out sobbing. We just stood there rocking gently, until I calmed down.

"Don't you cry, don't you see? In my heart, I'll always be, Dancing with my baby."

I looked up at him with a small smile on my face. I knew what he was saying. I pulled away, and grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter. I was thinking about all the time we had spent together. Laughing, talking, sitting at the table playing cards to keep my mind off the nightmares, watching cartoons on Saturdays, him taking me shopping, holding me when I cried. When I fought with my parents which wasn't often, I went to him. Whenever they weren't there for me, he was. He made me cake for my birthday, even low-fat cake when I was trying to lose weight. I gigged out loud which made both men in the room look at me like I was crazy, and maybe I was. I go from laughing to crying to laughing again in record time.

"Remember when you make me that low-fat cake for my birthday? It was all burnt and horrible!" Richie snorted and Jay tried to look wounded.

"I spent all day slaving over a hot stove to make you that cake! No respect!" Jay exclaimed.

"It was obviously too hot" I retorted, grinning. He laughed, looking at Richie, and said "This is the thanks I get for being a nice guy!"

Richie grinned, and replied "Just no more respect out there, man!"

I looked at Richie with a twinkle in my eyes and lunged for him, giggling. I gave him a big hug, and whispered "Thank you" in his ear. Jay came around behind us, and hugged me from behind, and all of a sudden it was a Sydney Sandwich.

"Uh, guys. Got to breathe. Can't breathe." I gasped out.

"No you don't. It's all in your head" Richie replied. I giggled and they let me go, Jay looking at me with sad eyes. I walked over to him, the joy of the moment gone.

"I don't want you to go, Jay. I want you to come with us to Jersey," I said, grasping at straws.

"I know, Half Pint, but you know I can't. I need to go to California. It's my job. I don't get paid if I don't do it." I looked at Richie through my lashes and right then realized. This man will be there for me until the ends of the earth. He smiled at me, winked and walked over to make some tea. I came to find out that tea was something Richie turned to if someone was upset. It was calming in a way. As the water boiled, he reached up and grabbed the tea bags, giving Jay and I our moment. After the tea was made, he asked,

"Would you like a spot of tea?" In that horrible English Accent. I looked at Jay and winked and asked, "I don't know, Jay. Do you think we should? He may have done something to it.." Richie looked offended for about a half a second then burst in to singing "Suspicious Minds" by Elvis.

"We can't go on together, with suspicious minds." I laughed and said "Only you, Richie."

I walked over to where I was going to sit and Richie held out the chair for me. I looked up at him in shock and said "Did you just hold out the chair for me?"

He looked down at me in something I was going to say was amusement. "Uh, yeah. I did. Gentlemen do that every once in a while." I grinned up at him. "Smart ass"

I could hear Jay laughing in the background, already fixing his tea. I whirled around and asked "Jay? How come you've never pulled out my chair for me?" He grinned and replied, "Cause I'm not a gentleman!"

"You've got that right!" I teased.

"You know, Syd, ever since Richie came into the picture, you've relaxed quite a bit. I like this new Sydney!" I managed to look really offended and asked "And just what was I before?"

Jay was left stumbling over his words. "I...I-I didn't....mean....that I didn't like you before. I just meant that you have changed, you're more laid back, you laugh more than you have before." He said quickly. I inwardly smirked. "I should probably shut up now, shouldn't I?" he asked. I nodded my head, smirking. It wasn't often that I got Jay all riled up like that and when I did, look out. I took advantage. Richie sat back and watched the whole thing with a gentle smile on his face. He knew what I was doing and wasn't doing anything to help. Jay just shook his head and changed the subject.

"So Richie, you say the band is making a new record?" He held up his spoon like he was talking into a microphone, and asked "How do you feel this album is going to do?" All he while saying it in a cheesy reporter vice. Half Texas, half Jersey accent. I don't think he could make his mind.

Richie almost spit out his tea, but managed to hold it in, swallowed and roared with laughter. We all chatted for a bit then it was coming on to five o'clock.

Jay looked and me and handed me something in an envelope. I recognized it as the thing he was doing when Richie and I got there. With shaky hands I opened it to reveal a card. I looked at the front and smiled when I saw a picture of Jay and I from one of the photobooths at the mall. It was one of the better ones of the bunch. I opened the card and out fell the rest of the pictures fell out, some from the photobooth, some from his camera. All of him and I.

I started to cry when I read what was inside.

Dear Syd.
I know I'm going to be in California but that does not mean we will never see each other again. Never forget who you are or where you came from. Remember all the good times we had together when you get down. And remember, I'm only a phone call away.

Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around, so open and exposed
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking
Yeah

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

When you're broken, when you're broken

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Oh, when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken

I love you Syd, don't ever forget it. Never forget to call me anytime, day or night. I'm there for you, half pint!
Love you!
Jay
P.s. To the moon and back! xo